Is Holiday-ing relaxing?

When people go on holiday, they have this mindset of leaving work behind and relaxing.  Before going for their holiday, I asked my mum “Why are you going to Malaysia again?” She replied,”Its not about the place, its about going away and relaxing.”

When she got back i asked her again,”How was your holiday? relaxing enough?” She replied,”Very tiring went to so many places in 1 day.” ???????? i thought it was suppose to be relaxing = not tiring.

And Tianhong is having his own little marathon, hopping around to different states in US. Relaxing anot? HAHA…I think holiday-ing has moved beyond relaxing.  It has become like war, conquering places within the limited time we got overseas.

Deconstructing the constructed

Why would anyone want to go through the hassle of deconstructing a deeply rooted idea?

It is through deconstruction that you reveal the assumption you could be carrying. An example the ‘Must’ theory. ‘My boyfriend does not come over whenever i need him to’. So one of the MUST assumptions here is ‘Everytime i want my borfirend to be here, he MUST be here’.  But when he does not come, you will experience something unpleasant and sometime putting the blame on someone else.

The underlying assumptions we make sometimes becomes so natural and automatic to us that we fail to see it.  So whenever you feel negative, start questioning why are you feeling this way. Ask yourself what are the must assumptions are we making.  Because part of why you are feeling this way is due to your beliefs you hold deep down, and not always about the environment around you

The MRT

Isn’t it weird to actually know that the voice we are all so familiar with is actually a real human being?

While i was doing a project on the MRT culture here in sgp, one of my project mates found this link.   We had to make the stranger familiar and the familiar strange, so we discussed MRT culture as if we were some alien from outer space.

It was fun, because we normally do not take notice of what goes on in the train, until we consciously pay attention.  Here are some things we found.

1)      PDA - public displays of affection

Now, i am sure many people are guilty of this!

2)     Mediating – sleeping

What better use of our very tight schedule, but some of these are really extreme.

3)     Reading of the Holy Scriptures - reading the newspaper

http://trmculture.wetpaint.com/ Here is the website of my group’s project.

Just think about why all these are happening without even us realizing it consciously?  =D

~misting~

Love and Time

I was reading Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life and came across this chapter that totally struck me.   Because it was about how to express love, something that I am very intrigued these days.  Love does not extend to just intimate couple relationships.  It is all about the social relations we have, from friends to family.
The best way to express love is time. What has love got to do with time? Logic is simple, when you give someone your time; it is a portion of your life which is a nonrenewable resource. Time is your life because it is one of the most precious things that we cannot reproduce. Therefore, this is the best expression of love.

One of the 5 languages of love according to Gray Chapman is quality time.  He also suggests that the best way to show your affection is through focusing your attention at that moment when you interact with someone. It shows that you value that person enough to sacrifice part of your life to him/her.
Quality time is all about togetherness because it has all to do with focused and undivided attention.  And the catch here is that, we can have time together but not feel connected or love.  Many guys think that to impress a girl is to bring her to an expensive place with great ambiance, which could be distracting.  A simple picnic could do, because the point here is getting to know each other through quality time.

Yes, quality time is also about quality conversation, whether you can start peeling the layers off each other (not literally, I meant it metaphorically) and truly understand the person whom you are friends with or interested in. 

However, this is something most guys struggle with, hence creating a lot of misunderstanding. Being logical and calculative creatures, the time spent with us must be more as compared to the time spent travelling to meet us. Thus, to them, that is an efficient way of using time. But to girls, sacrificing time to travel to meet us could be another expression of love. It is the meaning of the time spent, not the literal calculation of the time that counts.

Think about it.

‘The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.’ Rick Warren

~misting~

Boston Day 1 - my really suay day

Yes everyone, I’m now in Boston. This is my second night in HI, in short Hostelling International. I’m surprise by the service though. As it’s for budget stay, around USD $39/night, you can’t expected first class service. If you want, you have to Pay And Pay.

Breakfast is included and starts at 7. Though it’s just simple cereal, bagels and apples, it’s still ok for me. Pay peanuts get peanuts. Cannot be like Singaporeans ma so chow kuan. There’s a saying in hokkien called “Ai pi, Ai Qi, Ai…” - Want cheap, want fresh and want …

Today is a bad day for me. First, it’s heavy downpour in Boston for the whole day. Secondly, I almost got screwed by CitiBank. Well done! Seems like murphy’s law has an effect on me.

Long story but because of their “cock up”, I ALMOST have to carry thousands of dollars with me bcos a banker in Citi says confirm sure plus double chop can create account with them. After I closed my account with Citizens then Citi say unable to create due to visa. Can’t they tell me before I close my account? Luckily i can reactivate my citizens bank account. Really lucky if not I have to carry thousands of dollars with me. But 2 hrs wasted because of doing nothing in the end!

The heavy downpour impede my movement. In the end, I only get to travel to MIT and Harvard. Not exactly the university but nearby. And also bought my tickets for the next destination at the South Station.

By the time I start of freedom trail, it’s already 4pm. Out of state house, it’s already dark. Sigh… And yes have to go to the observatory tower at prudential center for sunset and also whale watching tomorrow. So timing will be real tight and organized.

Right now, time to head to bed to rest well for my journey tomorrow. Good luck to Misting for her second paper.

If i were a boy…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVTyLqkez6A

Here is a song by beyonce Which i found rather meaningful.

if i were a boy
even just for a day
i’d roll out of bed in the morning
and i will throw on wad i wanted and go
drink beers with the guys
and chase after girls
i’d kick it with who i wanted
and i’d never get confronted by it
coz they will stick up for me

Her lyrics suggests the things that she would have done to appreciate the things her partner does.  Whereas her video portays her taking the gender role of men

A powerful message when these words because it suggests the things that she would have done to appreciate her partner, and not to take the other for granted.  Coupled with the video, it gives the male population the point of view of females.  One thing above all that sums up the whole video was this sentence that Beyonce said

‘Why are you so jealous? Its not like i am sleeping with the guy’

This was something out of the ordinary.  Because most of the time, this is the normal reaction of men when they confronted by his girlfriend/wife about flirting around.  But in the video, it is the woman that says it.  Giving the video a different perspective, doesnt it?

What strikes me the most about the video was that beyonce is using this video as a way of expressing the thoughts about women.  A symbolic resistance of women in society as a whole, a strong message of what i would call implicit discrimination.  be it in workplace or in relationships, the thoughts and expressions of women are mostly silenced. 

Expressions of femininity would not be taken seriously in male dominated industries.  Think about how women dress in high positions.  They are mostly in blazers, pants or power suits, hence hidding their femininity with a masculine image. Thoughts of women in relationships are silenced, taken for granted.

~misting~

Guest Blogger

Hello everyone *giggles* this is weird because I am a ‘closet blogger’, so my post are not really open for the public eyes.  To think that such a person actually existed.  Well, i think i will just introduce myself, so that i will not be always refered to as the ‘closet blogger’.

I am currently studying in NUS majoring in psychology, but i love sociology too, so still finding a reconcilation between both.  In my year 2 semester 2, for those undergrads out there might find this strange, because at this point in time, people are mostly in their semester 1.  Well, i was not originally from Arts and Social Sciences, i was on the road of becoming an architect.

Why architecture? I also dont know *sheepishly*.  But i passed the interview and test for architecture, so I had to give it a shot.  But, it was not to be, so i left after my first semester.

Why psychology? Well, i worked at a childcare center during my holidays, so i have this interest in learning more about how children behave. And i never looked back since.

How did i know Tian hong? Through a common friend, and the group of us had this sushi making party.  And he has been a nice msn buddy lately. (Maybe because he is bored in NH, and that i am on msn most of the time.)

My interest include doing sports, playing piano and violin (not at the same time of course), play with my rabbits and i love quiet times alone.  And of course disecting human behavior! So i think you all can expect some insights from me regarding that in the coming posts~

Back to mugging….

~Misting~

Hiatus

I will be away for 2 weeks until 12 Dec due to my backpacking trip in states. Schedule will be Boston, Montreal, Toronto, Niagara, Washington and NYC. Internet connection might not be guaranteed and thus

(drum roll)

I have a guest blogger who will be updating this blog. Due to exam, she will only be updating after her second paper.

So, wish her all the luck during this exam period!

Tan Kin Lian for president

Now, I think it’s hard to separate between wanting to help the investor or just to further his political agenda. But as long as it’s helping the common people, I think he’ll still get the support of many others. How much?

How far Singaporeans want to push it considering we got 4Ks?

Kiasu

Kiasee

Kia Zabor (wife)

And

Kia Chenghu (gahmen)

I think it’s still hard to say considering the fact that many Singaporeans are still living in a too comfortable situation. Only when you lost money lost house then you will see people starts to react. See, we’re so lazy to think.

Enough of the digress, if Tan Kin Lian becomes our president, I doubt he has the resource to do much due to his small workforce. Just my 2 cents thoughts though.

Relationship: The One

Written by Misting - The complicated one

There is no such thing as THE ONE
But there is such thing as a better one

What i am sharing today is the though process that has been bothering me for the longest time. Is there such a thing is the right person for you or a.k.a THE ONE. if you think about it logically, who can someone ever find the one? it basically means u have to go out with every single one in the earth and then choose the best one. Is that even possible? nope… Therefore, there is no such thing as the one.

My next stand is that a relationship based on solely love alone is doomed to failure. hold up guys… i know its a very definite statement.. but just listen up. Research has shown that love only last 2 years, and in our increasingly fast paced world, it will continue to decrease. Throw away all the misconceptions that Walt Disney out in our minds that everyone lives happily ever after. That’s why the movie only talks until the part where couples get marries. What comes after that is too complicated for our then-small minds. Media has set up unrealistic expectations on our minds about love in relationship. Therefore if love is the basis of the whole relationship, it will fail coz when love fails after 2 years, your relationship will also fail.

Lastly, there is no such thing as love in the first place. Because it is just a name given to a bunch of neuron transactions in your brain. The metaphor ‘ i love you from the bottom of my heart’, nice to hear but not really true. That’s why its a metaphor, how does it feel if someone said this instead ‘ i love you from the back of my brains.’ haha…

All i want to say here is that, we are socialized from young in such a way that we will have overly exaggerated ideas about relationships. To make matter worst, there are limited channels in how one learn the reality of the worlds. Parents are a rich resource for such advice, but nowadays, youths and young adults typically refer to their friends who they themselves are equally clueless about. A vicious cycle i must say…

One year anniversary to the 5ive

Today is exactly one year after the death of our 5 dragonboat rowers in Cambadia. Surely, emotion will be running high for all the family members and friends.

Especially for me to lose 3 friends in that accident. Life is cruel in the sense that heaven took away 3 friends in a day. Everyone has to die one day but to just leave like this leaves a void so deep in our heart.

Reuben, my best friend, is also one of them. It’s hard to believe that he left this world during the period when he has the momentum to develop all his potential. Tall, fit, handsome and musically-talented. Though a bit too “chao ta” la. haha

Since you’ve left, life is back to normal. The quiet kind. No more gym partners no more movie buddy. As usual, I have to be strong *sniff sniff*

The 5 family will be doing a memorial services on that day itself. Five of you must take care in heaven and give us blessing from above. Will pay you all a visit once I’m back from Work and Travel.

Miss you so much.

This vid reminds so much of the time where you use to “haolian” your skill by playing the super fast Final Fantasy theme song in NYP.I will be traveling on the same day, 23th Nov. So do give me your blessing to be back in Singapore safely and find a nice girlfriend too. Haha seems like I’m asking too much.

Snam
Tianhong

Town Council on how to invest?

After losing so much money is so called “low risk” investment product, we now got lesson 101 on investment. Isn’t it an irony? Alright, to be truthful, hindsight is always 20/20. Investment do have certain risk involved and shit do happens due to economic cycle. And sometimes, it’s good to do your own due diligence rather than listening to fund managers with a different set of priorities.

Due to my personality, I’m more of a low-risk appetite investor. Index and value investing is the way for me. I would recommend Peter Lynch and Warren Buffet as model for study.

Right now, I think it’s the best time to put certain percentage of money into stocks every month diversifying into several portfolios especially on renewable energy.

How to invest?: ”

TWO People’s Action Party (PAP) town councils are reviewing their investment strategies, just days after it was revealed that they had some funds exposed to toxic products.

Pasir Ris-Punggol and Tampines town councils told The Straits Times yesterday that they are rethinking how best to invest their funds in the light of the global downturn.”

(Via Straits Times Interactive - LATEST NEWS.)

Lesson learnt from hiking

Hiking is like a sport, it tests your mental toughness, your endurance and how well you take care of our body. It is no joke having to hike hours before reaching the top.

One may curse and swear; one may give up and turn back. It’s ok to give up because of dangerous weather. Who dare to go against nature? A very painful lesson taught me not too gungho going against nature.

But it is not ok if the reason is due to the negative thoughts in head. Wanting to give up etc is all excuses.

I love challenging my limits. Even with such high motivation, I had difficulty hiking those 4000+ feet mountains. After several hikes, I learn to just focus on putting one feet in front of another because even so, it takes mental endurance to continue up the hike. It’s the same in life. Now, I’ll always remind myself that it is the every step one takes that will take him to the place he wants to go. The most important thing is to put one of your leg out.

I also learn to be one with nature. To be calm, peaceful and mesmerized by the folds and folds of mountains ahead of me. It makes me feel so small to be “disturbed” by the small things in life. In life, we are often too caught up with what is the task we are doing than to see the big picture.

I feel shiokness because of the aches in my thigh and calfs just like what a full marathon can do to me. I feel a sense of achievement that allows me to enjoy the scenary because of my sacrifices I’ve made. I think of it the same as life “sacrifices first and then enjoy the rewards“.

Accepting criticism

The quote “life is not a bed of roses” has be used and will be used in the future. This is one timeless principle that will continue to hold true.

Due to my previous smooth-sailing experience in poly, those years had cultivated me to be arrogant and over-confident. What to do when I always got good result even when I don’t really study. Always score A’s and is the lecturer’s favorite. Day in day out, I’m always doing sports instead of studying. In a nutshell, life is such a breeze. And I’m blinded from the reality around me. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance though.

It’s only during my military and university life that I eat a very big humble pie. I kept knocking into walls. Things just don’t go the way I wanted anymore.

Slowly, I come to the conclusion that my “view of the world” in poly and the reality of the world is actually very different. Call it luck. 3 years of luck is really long. When I wake up, it’s nightmare.

But it is also when a person is at the bottom of valley is he able to learn life lesson. Like the story of pouring away the water in his cup so that the cup will not overflow. Life is indeed like the story mentioned. If we continue to keep our cup full, how are we going to learn new things.

Accepting criticism is one of them which I’m still trying to master. Of cos I’m already a lot better my arrogant past but there’s still lots of room available. But I know that I can better accept criticism now because my perspective has reframed from they are all against me to people who say that are actually concerned about me.

Yesterday night, I was with my friend to a bar. And one of them is refused to stay in the bat because he did not bring any of his passport. He argued with the security, who is twice his size. I applaud him for his courage but he’s not able to hold himself back and see the truth (the interest of the bar). Instead, anger blinded him.

Things do go against your wish but sometimes there’s nothing that can be done but to accept it as a fact.

Accept there are differences between people.
Accept one can’t makes everyone likes him/her.
Accept that criticism is part of life.
Accept human do make mistakes.

And of cos learning to accept who we are and this is the hardest.

‘Meh’ enters dictionary

Singlish is a culture, it’s a way of life and now ‘meh’ has even entered the dictionary to make its use a formality. Imagine this, we’re now able to use meh in formal documents!

For university student, it’s time to test the system by using ‘meh’ in your final year report and exam papers :p Quite insightful application for the word right?

And relax all Singaporeans, the inclusion of word is due to Simpsons. Yes, the famous Homer family throughout the globe, with legions of fans, that popularized the word.

For now, really meh?

‘Meh’ enters dictionary: ”

LONDON - AT LEAST someone is excited about ‘meh’. The expression of indifference or boredom has gained a place in the Collins English Dictionary after generating a surprising amount of enthusiasm among lexicographers.

Publisher HarperCollins announced on Monday the word had been chosen from terms suggested by the public for inclusion in the dictionary’s 30th anniversary edition, to be published next year.”

(Via Straits Times Interactive - LATEST NEWS.)